Via the Monkey Tennis Centre:
From the Red Cross First Aid Manual for Combatants, Gaza edition.Lesson 1: Casualty with severed head:
1. Retrieve head from celebrating mob.
2. Carefully reattach head to neck as shown.
3. Remove video of beheading from internet.
4. Prop casualty up in a chair.
5. Call AP and Reuters, and get them to photograph the casualty, explaining to them that he's in excellent health, but has suffered mild whiplash in a car accident, and is having a nap.
6. When AP/Reuters have gone, remove head again.
7. Wait 24 hours.
8. Call AP/Reuters and tell them casualty has been run over by Israeli bulldozer.
Here's more:
Lesson 2: Casualty suffering from multiple fractures and internal injuries after being thrown from roof by rival faction:
1. If casualty's hands and feet were bound prior to his being thrown from rooftop, untie hands and feet and dispose of rope.
2. Place casualty in recovery position.
3. Call BBC and explain that casualty is impoverished fruit farmer who threw himself from rooftop after being driven to despair by Israel's closure of Rafa border crossing.
More lessons here.
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