Rabbi Shafran of the Agudath Israel of America has published a letter from a father to his teenage son in the Jerusalem Post. In my opinion, this letter proves a good example of how a religiously superstitious parent abuses his child by inflicting shame and limiting freedom.
Sean, the right thing for a Jewish person is to marry another Jew.Not only because our religion requires it. But because when Jews marry out, they disrespect who they are, they are disloyal to the Jewish past and they chip away at the Jewish future.
Whether or not our family kept strictly kosher or celebrated Shabbat or attended services often enough is all one thing. But the thought of bringing about the end of a proud Jewish line stretching back in time for centuries is something else. It's more than some religious transgression.
You never asked to be a Jew, I know. You were born one. But being Jewish isn't a burden. It's a gift. It means you are part of something bigger, much bigger, than yourself.
Each of us Jews represents the hopes of so many Jewish ancestors.
Libertarianism—unlike conservatism—holds that no human is responsible to history and collectivist traditions. Each and every one of us is capable to form his or her life independently from family and the society. All collectivist claims are false. We always have a choice between conformity and rebelliousness.
The religious parent rejects libertarianism on conservative grounds. The child is told that it has responsibilities towards earlier generations; and if the child does not conform to timeworn ideals, he or she will be punished with guilt and condemnation.
This is nothing short of child abuse.
Yes a good healthy dose of libertarianism is needed for much of the world. As I have not too long ago moved down South here, I am becoming acquainted with some more religious people. I never knew really any up North. And I am still amazed at how strong a pull an upbringing can have on a person.
I might have mentioned this here before, but I have a religious male friend that seems as corrupt as anyone, but when it comes to his ideas of marriage and kids, he all of a sudden turns into a Protestant Taliban. I cannot debate him out of his childhood ideas, such as his wife should be a virgin, even though he himself is far from one. (Wasn't Jesus against phonies and judgemental people?) He is actually psychologically suffering for this idea, because truth is, virgins over 21 aren't so common over here, (this ain't Pakistan), and he can't take seriously the girls he really likes who aren't, so it's big conflict mentally. That, to me, just seems like a ridiculous problem to have in this day and age.
Anyway, my point is, it's hard to understand just how strong an effect childhood religion can have on a person. I was never raised in a dogmatic household, so I often wonder, if I had been, would I have the courage to rebel, or would I rebel and then suffer inside silently from guilt and conflict, or would I just obey? I suppose it's hard to imagine what you would do unless you were raised that way.
So I suppose many people of faith, like many Jewish people today who were raised religiously, may appear modern on the outside, but probably also still suffer from large internal conflict when it comes to marrying outside their faith and going against their upbringing, in a way that is difficult for others to understand. Still, a little libertarianism for these people might not hurt so much and help them see things in a different light.
USAgal,
I agree with everything you write.
I would be very naïve if I thought religious parents would ever become libertarians, but as most parents want what is best for their kids, I think it is reasonable to ask of them to allow for some doubt, reason, and tolerance in the upbringing. To tell a child that he or she must obey certain traditions in order to be loved and fully respected is cruel and not worthy of a loving parent. No wonder children who grow up in such a demanding environment will end up with emotional problems as they fail to comply.